Oh, it would have been so easy to just say "screw it" instead of getting all bundled up and taking my daily morning walk. But, I didn't. I donned the polar fleece, grateful that I am able to get out and walk. It wasn't that long ago when a trip to the end of the driveway left me tired and out of breath.
It's been four months since I embarked on this journey with the intention of changing my relationship to food and regaining my health by transitioning to a diet high in raw, living plant foods. Chronic health problems that I had begun to accept as "normal," have vanished. I've regained my bohemian lust for life, and released 62 pounds along the way.
Whenever I've felt like chucking the whole thing and diving back into the highly refined, processed food, I'd get out a letter I wrote to myself and re-read it:
I’m writing you this letter to help you remember why you’re choosing to change your relationship to food and live a raw foods lifestyle.
Remember what it was like buying a pair of size 28 jeans and having them fit so tightly that you couldn’t breathe when you sat down or bent over?
Remember looking in the mirror and not recognizing the obese woman looking back at you? Remember how you felt both sad and repulsed at seeing your disfigured body, stretched to over 300 pounds?
Remember how frustrating it was going to the store and trying on clothes? Everything fit like skin on a baloney or like a huge tent that just hung on your body.
Remember how swollen your feet and ankles became and how painful that was? You had such a hard time finding shoes that fit.
Remember lying down in bed at night and not being able to breathe freely?
Remember walking up a flight of stairs and being winded?
Remember having no energy and sleeping for hours during the day?
Remember how lonely you felt and how isolated you had become?
Remember how starved you were for human touch but you wouldn’t allow anyone to be intimate with you?
Remember how sick you would feel after gorging yourself beyond being full; like you wanted to vomit?
Remember how you wouldn’t do things that you enjoyed, like swimming and dancing, because you were so self-conscious of how you’d look?
Remember feeling out of control?
Keep up the good work! You are becoming healthy – in body, mind, and spirit. I’m very proud of you. You are changing your life today.
I still have a long road to travel before my body can fully repair itself and heal from the debilitating effects of morbid obesity. But I'll walk that road each morning, even in inclement weather, with gratitude in my heart and a skip in my step ~ and I'll likely kick a few more pounds to the curb along the way.
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